NASA'S NEW MISSION - FIXING CARS

Being down here in Clear Lake a couple of miles from the Manned Space Flight Center, many are concerned about the local economy now that BO has decided we no longer need to be sending people into space. So, he has now commissioned NASA to get to the bottom of the problems with the Toyota's that seem to speed up when the accelerator is pressed all the way to the floor and held there by the driver. Now I'm sure that MASA can remedy that problem simply by changing the obvious - if the driver presses the accelerator all the way to the floor and holds it there it should be apparent to everyone that he intends to stop, so install a device that will do just that. Problem solved (except for the several billion dollars and a few years that will be required to finally actually reach that conclusion).

A New Way To Cook Breakfast

Now all I need is a machine gun and I'm ready to go.
http://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/2010/03/26/cooking-some-bacon-the-machine-gun-method/

Oldie But Goodie

Here's the old 911 Deer Attack phone call. Still funny after all these years. Facebook doesn't let me post this kind of stuff.
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/rhqffkpwmj--Joe-v-the-Deer-911-Call